I don’t even know where to start.

And even if I knew where to start, I’m not sure what to say.

I’m not surprised that more black people have lost their live to the police and almost got away with it. I’m pleasantly surprised that the protests became as large as they did. Yet I’m disappointed that there is still some push back for reform.

Then I turn my attention to the police and I’m horrified. I’m watching the videos of their actions against peaceful protestors and the media and I’m in disbelief. That this is really what we have come to. Our own police is using military grade equipment against their fellow citizens. They shooting them with rubber bullets, pepper spray, and tear gas at point blank range. They are doing these things to unarmed civilians. Pushing them over, kicking them, being violent. Then, despite the video evidence, getting on TV in some areas and painting the story that they are the victim.

I honestly have no words. But, I do know that it is disgusting.

Integrity – the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

Where has ours gone?

There is a major problem in this country where our leadership, the people with authority, lack this key quality. We are free falling down a very slippery slope that makes it okay for our leaders to lie to us, to attempt to censor the media and dismiss them as fake news, and for our police to abuse citizens without reprimand.

Is this the great America we desperately wanted and were harping about?

How can anyone see what is going on and fly the flag with pride? How can there still be people that support this?

I feel like the gap between the country I believe in and our reality is so large, and I’m not sure if or when we would be able to close it.

I need to organize my thoughts some more, but I couldn’t just say nothing.

So just know that I’m disgusted, disappointed, and in disbelief. Know that I stand for police reform, holding people with authority accountable for their actions, and stamping out racism. Yes, I believe Black Lives Matter. After all, I am a black woman that has dealt with racism in two countries. And while I don’t always feel hopeful, know that I do want change.

Until Next Time,

OJ